George Jones-Burn The Honky Tonk Down
The number of
things that I knew about George Jones before I started writing this piece are
limited to three separate, but distinct, items. Firstly, he was married to
Tammy Wynette. Secondly, he was fond of a drink or two. Thirdly. (I know that
there isn’t such a word as thirdly but I’m writing about a country artist and
although that doesn’t make difference I’ll bet the word is used in certain
States of the U.S.) Thirdly, on one occasion when Tammy Wynette had hidden all
the car keys in the house in a vain attempt to prevent George “nipping” out for
a drink, she glanced out of the window to see George heading off down the road
in a determined fashion, riding on his sit-down lawnmower. He was found a
couple of miles away, having driven to the nearest bar and parked the lawnmower
in the parking lot as if it was a normal car. (This third fact may not be
entirely accurate, in part or in whole. It may not have been Tammy Wynette but
one of George’s other wives who hid the keys. It may have not even have been
George Jones but a different country singer altogether. There may not have been
a lawnmower involved and it could have been a golf cart or some other sort of
vehicle (Though I can’t think of anything else apart from a golf buggy or
lawnmower that George-or whoever else it may have been-could have made a dash
to freedom on.) Of course, it may not
even be a true story and may be something that I’ve half-remembered from a film
or from reading somewhere. It may be some apocryphal myth thing, a shaggy dog
tale that’s expanded over the years and has become associated (incorrectly)
with country music stars. After all, it sounds like the sort of thing that
country music stars of the 1960’s and 1970’s would do and even if it wasn’t
true it would make a great subject for a country music song. Can you imagine
it; “You took the car keys, I took the lawnmower”?)
Anyway, I’ve
strung those three facts out for as much as I can. There are a couple of other
snippets. I know that Elvis Costello covered Jones’ big hit “A Good Year For The
Roses” on his (Costello’s) country album. I also know that George had hit after
hit for decades and is, as far as I can tell, still going strong, despite
giving his liver years of abuse. I think that he has been off the drink for a
long time now and is a bit of a reformed character who only would use a
lawnmower for cutting grass. (Wouldn’t a big star like George have a gardener?
Maybe, in a down-home country style he does all his garden maintenance
himself.) I think that his relationship with Tammy Wynette was tempestuous to
say the least and that he’s been married at least three times. He has a
nickname of Ol’ Possum because of his appearance. Coming from England and having
no experience of possums this doesn’t mean anything to me nor does it make any
sense. In any event why on earth do I know that fact-why has it stuck in my
mind and of what possible use is it to me?
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