Extracted from "Turn Left at the Womble: How a 48 year old Dad survived his first time at Glastonbury"
....... a close encounter with a stilt-walker....
Just as I wobbled and threaded my way past all the stalls and crowds near the gate, I was accosted by a stilt-walker dressed up as a giraffe trying to hand me a flyer for some show. I shook my head but they were quite insistent.
“Here you go, free show this afternoon,” they said, bending down towards me.
"No, no thanks. I’m ok.”
"But it’s free. Go on.”
“No I’m fine.”
“Go on, take one.”
“Look. I’m fine. Can’t you see I’ve got my hands full?”
“What have you got to lose? It’s free.”
“I know it’s fucking free, you’ve told me. But I don’t want one.”
“No need to be like that,” they said, in a hurtful tone.
Exasperated, I motioned with my head, “See, there are thousands of people around here and none of them are trying to carry two heavy cases and sweating like a pig. Have you thought of asking them?”
They looked at me blankly as if this thought had not crossed their mind and then around at the crowds. Maybe the penny had dropped. Or not. They were off again. “But it’s free.” (To someone looking at this encounter from outside it must have seemed quite surreal .Maybe it was a piece of secret street theatre in itself and no-one had told me.)
”Oh my God. I know. You’ve told me. But I really am not arsed. Go and bother someone else.” There was only one way to end this. I picked up the cases and headed straight for the stilts. They hopped-I didn’t know you could hop on stilts-out of my way, whilst telling me to fuck off. I was very tempted to tell them there was no need to be like that and anyway it was all free. Discretion being the better part and wanting to avoid the embarrassment of being in a fight with someone wearing stilts I decided against it and made my way, exhausted, to the lock-up.
Get/read/see "Turn Left at the Womble" here
kindle e book;
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Turn-Left-The-Womble-Glastonbury-ebook/dp/B0060YCKGW
paperback:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Turn-Left-The-Womble-Glastonbury/dp/1494816385
....... a close encounter with a stilt-walker....
Just as I wobbled and threaded my way past all the stalls and crowds near the gate, I was accosted by a stilt-walker dressed up as a giraffe trying to hand me a flyer for some show. I shook my head but they were quite insistent.
“Here you go, free show this afternoon,” they said, bending down towards me.
"No, no thanks. I’m ok.”
"But it’s free. Go on.”
“No I’m fine.”
“Go on, take one.”
“Look. I’m fine. Can’t you see I’ve got my hands full?”
“What have you got to lose? It’s free.”
“I know it’s fucking free, you’ve told me. But I don’t want one.”
“No need to be like that,” they said, in a hurtful tone.
Exasperated, I motioned with my head, “See, there are thousands of people around here and none of them are trying to carry two heavy cases and sweating like a pig. Have you thought of asking them?”
They looked at me blankly as if this thought had not crossed their mind and then around at the crowds. Maybe the penny had dropped. Or not. They were off again. “But it’s free.” (To someone looking at this encounter from outside it must have seemed quite surreal .Maybe it was a piece of secret street theatre in itself and no-one had told me.)
”Oh my God. I know. You’ve told me. But I really am not arsed. Go and bother someone else.” There was only one way to end this. I picked up the cases and headed straight for the stilts. They hopped-I didn’t know you could hop on stilts-out of my way, whilst telling me to fuck off. I was very tempted to tell them there was no need to be like that and anyway it was all free. Discretion being the better part and wanting to avoid the embarrassment of being in a fight with someone wearing stilts I decided against it and made my way, exhausted, to the lock-up.
Get/read/see "Turn Left at the Womble" here
kindle e book;
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Turn-Left-The-Womble-Glastonbury-ebook/dp/B0060YCKGW
paperback:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Turn-Left-The-Womble-Glastonbury/dp/1494816385
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